The sticker…	Comments…
Musketeers do it with lead balls	Thanks, Jerry, February 2001.
It's Never Too Late To Be A Nymphomaniac	Thanks, Steve S., for pointing out www.lovebumps.com, November 2000.
ON THE ROAD TO LOVE	Thanks, Steve S., for pointing out www.lovebumps.com, November 2000.
Love Happens	Thanks, Steve S., for pointing out www.lovebumps.com, November 2000.
GONE KISSING	Thanks, Steve S., for pointing out www.lovebumps.com, November 2000.
Porn - It's cheaper than protsitutes	Thanks, Kris and Becca, November 2000.
We Are Everywhere	Thanks, Camille, October 2000. This refers to gays and lesbians, she writes.
I'M A BETTER AMERICAN THAN YOU ARE	Thanks, Michele, August 2000, who writes, "One from the scary anti-Communist days of the early '60's, which I found and gave to my left-wing 7th grade science teacher in order to piss off my right-wing history teacher."
DIAL 911 AND MAKE A COP COME	Thanks, James B., July 2000, who wrires, "I purchased this one for a friend who was a cop and while he laughed he was too chicken to put it on his car."
APPRECIATE ME NOW. AVOID THE RUSH.	Thanks, Barbara from NH, July 2000.
homosexuality is fun	Thanks, Rob, June 2000. He says he's got this one on his car.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.	Thanks, Waid P., June 2000.
Coffee, Chocolate, Men; Some Things Are Just Better Rich	Washington Post's Best Bumperstickers of 1999. (Thanks to my own Pa for sending 'em in, February 2000!)
If you think that you feel good, just wait till you feel me.	Thanks, Pat Owen, Feb 2000.
Necrophilia: It's a half-dead art.	Thanks, Rob F. January 2000.
If You Drink Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.	Thanks, Hedrick and David O'D, January 2000.
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.	Thanks, Hedrick and David O'D, January 2000.
Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.	Thanks, Hedrick and David O'D, January 2000.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.	Thanks, Hedrick and David O'D, January 2000.
Practice Safe Sex - Go Screw Yourself	Thanks, Hedrick and David O'D, January 2000.
your girlfriend fakes it	From Ethan Dobrow, January 2000. That's cold.
Love is a Handsome Garbageman	Thanks, Laurie Ensley, December 1999. She saw this in Colorado.
My heart is in the right place, I know, because I hid it there	Thanks, Kathy Slade, November 1999. This is a touching one. Sniff.
If Sex Is A Pain In The A**, Then You're Doing It Wrong...	Thanks, Dave Norton, OCtober 1999.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"	Thanks, Dave Norton, November 1999.
SAVE A WHALE - HARPOON A FAT CHICK!	Thanks, I think, to Jon Zijlstra, October 1999.
I live with fear and danger, sometimes I leave her and go rock climbing	Thanks, "ethnobot," October 1999.
My nuts are titanium	"Ethnobot" says this is about cyclists. October 1999.
Tired of screwing? Try riveting!	Thanks, Frederick Battershell, September 1999.
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day. Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later. You KNOW you want me. Don't worry. It only seems kinky the first time... I'm one of those bad things that happens to good people. How can I miss you if you won't go away? Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not. If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy. Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.
Sex is like Pizza When it's good it's really good When it's bad it's still pretty good	Thanks, Neil H., April 1999.
The More I Learn About Women, The More I Love My Harley	Thanks, Kathy S., March 1999.
Libraries are for lovers.	I saw this on a car in Sturbridge, MA. August 1999.
I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.	Refers, I think, to people a person used to being undressed by others' eyes. Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I refuse to star in your psychodrama.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
And which dwarf are you?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Bottomless pit of needs & wants.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Does this condom make me look fat?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Don't be sexist - broads hate that!	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
GUYS: No shirt, no service. GALS: No shirt, no charge.	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I (heart) your wife/daughter/mother	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying No hard feelings	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
It ain't the size, it's... no,no, it's the size.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Let me show you how the guards used to do it.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Life's a buffet... so eat me!	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
My kid had sex with your honor student.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Necrophilia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
One of us is thinking about sex... OK, it's me.	Thanks, Melanie F., February 1999.
Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
Save a mouse... Eat pussy!	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.	Ben R. sent this along, January 1999.
Whisper my favorite words: I'll buy it for you.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Women like silent men, they think they're listening.	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
Yeah, right! Like I'm going to put that icky thing in my mouth.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Kinky as a Pubic Hair	Seen outside of Reno, August 1998. Thanks, Katie W.
My ex wife's car is a broom!	‡ Thanks, "CrystalBos", September 1998.
It takes a DAMN GOOD MAN to be better than NONE AT ALL.	Thanks, GRB, San Diego CA, August 1998
'Tis better to have LOVED and LOST than to have LOVED and WON.	Sorry, Shakespeare, but thanks, Charlie N. from Long Beach, August 1998
WOMEN... Ya can't live WITH 'em and ya can't live WITH 'em.	Thanks, Charlie N. from Long Beach, August 1998
I'm BUYSEXUAL - If I want sex, I have to BUY it.	Thanks, Charlie N. from Long Beach, August 1998
Will work for food - Will beg for sex	Seen in Maine, August 1998
Wife's a bitch	Thanks Dave N., July 1998
You can't be first, but you could be next	seen on a young lady's car: Thanks, Mark L., April 1998
All men are idiots ... I married their king.	Thanks, Mark L., April 1998
Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.	Thanks, Mark L., April 1998
I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.	Thanks, Mark L., April 1998
All men are created equal ...poor things.	Andrea R., March 1997
Grow your own dope. Plant a man.	Andrea R., March 1997. This one almost killed my mother, she thought it was so funny.
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep
Women may come, and women may, but you can always rely on your truck.	(Only partly true in my experience.)
Drag queens have more fun!	Thanks, Chris K., Jan 1998
Have you hugged your LP gas man lately?
I need someone really bad. (Are you really bad?)
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost	Thanks, Dave N., March 1999.
Drink 'til she's cute but stop before the wedding.	(Tim's email, 10/1997
MEN ARE NOT PIGS - PIGS ARE WONDERFUL
Don't laugh - your daughter may be in here
If the van is rockin' don't come knockin'
My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's leaving. I'm sure gonna miss her.
Vegetarians Taste Better
I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is getting better
Tennis players have fuzzy balls
Sailors get blown offshore
Divers do it deeper!
Assassins do it from behind
Glaziers score more!	(Seen in suburban Boston. It verges on the obscure. "Glaziers" are people who work with glass; "scoring" is a step used in cutting glass.)
Truckers F*** More
Boycott Homophobia
Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are
Mean People Suck
Nice People Lick	Sent in by alert reader Rebecca on 4/10/1997. Thank-you!
Nice People Swallow	Sent in by alert reader Dave 4/24/1997. Thank you!
Better gay than grumpy
Condoms Are Easier To Change Than Diapers
Copulate, don't populate
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat	Parade Magazine, Sunday October 5, 1997
If you want a stable relationship, get a horse	Parade Magazine, Sunday October 5, 1997
I remember when motorcycles were dangerous and sex was safe!	Thanks, Derk v.H., 9/1997
SIZE MATTERS	(Later, of course, this was appropriated by the people marketing the movie Godzilla)
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Wink, I'll do the rest!
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Homophobia Is a Social Disease
I'm Straight But Not Narrow
Eat a Beaver - Save a Tree	Thanks, Dave, for this classic, December 2000.
My other toy has tits	Thanks, alert reader "madbry" of the UK. He has this on the back of his Vespa! (Nov 1997)
Straight but not narrow
Celebrate Diversity
Celebrate Perversity	Seen near Boston, May 1999. People are unbelievable.
[Pink triangle]
I am straight but not narrow
[Double Women's symbol]
[Double men's symbol]
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac

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