The sticker…	Comments…
Free or Drug Free, America Cannot Be Both.	Thanks, Greg C., who sent this in March 2002. It has what's best about good bumperstickers: lots of meaning in very few words.
got brains?
I AM NOT A RAVER	Thanks, Steve B., January 2000. This sticker is on his VW bus. He adds, "I am a raver... and it was given to me at a rave."
I'M NOT CRAZY, I'M AN AIRPLAINE AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, THEN PLEASE STEP OUT!	Thanks, Patrick R. from Holland, for this mindbender, November 2000.
Cancer Cures Smoking	Thanks, Camille, October 2000. It doesn't though, does it! We get to see people with oral cancer smoking through the opening in thier tracheae...
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.	Thanks, Waid P., June 2000.
I gave up smoking drinking and sex... it was the worst 15 minutes of my life.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke pot and fly?	Thanks, Maciek Z., May 2000.
Tequila! have you hugged your toilet lately?	Thanks, Machados, March 2000.
I smoked pot for a month one night.	Thanks, Thomas B., March 2000. He writes, "I don't miss the car but I sure miss the sticker."
My Other Vehicle Is My Mind	Thanks, Larry S., March 2000. He says this is on his sister's car. He adds, "pretty scary when you stop to think about it; it implies the driver is probably spacing out." (I'm sure he didn't mean his sister.)
God Made Us Sisters; Prozac Made Us Friends	Washington Post's Best Bumperstickers of 1999. (Thanks to my own Pa for sending 'em in, February 2000!)
If You Drink Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.	Thanks, Hedrick and Dave O'D, January 2000.
"I am not an Idiot----I am a human being. I am a Blonde"	Scott sent in this reference to the Elephant Man, December 1999.
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.	Thanks, Kathy Slade, November 1999.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.
Sure I was drunk last night.... but I would have made it home if some idiot hadn't stepped on my fingers.	Thanks, Tucson Jim, July 2000.
Rehab Is For Quitters	Thanks, Kathy S., March 1999.
You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
Only users lose drugs	Thanks for another great submission, Jacki Barber! She had this one on her 1980 Fiesta back when. July 1999.
Fear This	Oooh, a tough guy! Boston, 1999.
Runs With Scissors	Better, I think, than "Fear This." July 1999, Boston
Warning: We smokers have determined that your bitching may be hazardous to your health	Truck in Denver, CO. Thanks, Mark L., January 1999.
No smoking in bed?....No sleeping in the ashtrays!	Homemade sign in Army barracks room. Thanks, Mark L., January 1999.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.	From Shirley M., November 1998.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
A fool and his money are soon partying.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Allow me to introduce my selves.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Better living through denial.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Does your train of thought have a caboose?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
He's not dead -- He's electroencephalographically challenged.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
I plead contemporary insanity.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure.	Thanks, Kathy S., December 1998.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.	Ben R. sent this along, January 1999.
I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I'm not schizophrenic. You only think we are!	From Shirley M., November 1998.
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Is it time for your medication or mine?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Meandering to a different drummer.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.	Emailed by my friend Sue H., April 1998.
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
People say I have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Rehab is for quitters.	Ben R. sent this along, January 1999.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Support Mental Health or I will KILL YOU!	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Chatham: a quaint drinking village with a fishing problem.	Thanks, Mom, September 1998. Chatham is a town on the Cape, in Massachusetts, although this piece of wisdom could apply to many a town.
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy	Echoed by alert reader "giddy99" Nov 1997.
The universe rearranges itself to accommodate your picture of reality	Thanks, Jacki B., June 1998
Smokers do it until they're dead.	Thanks, Alison H., June 1998. This is pretty grim one, eh?
DARE to think for yourself (Drugs Are Really Expensive)	Thanks, Jacki B., June 1998
Help wanted, telepath: you know where to apply	Thanks, Mark L., April 1998
I said "no" to drugs, but they didn't listen.	Thanks, Mark L., April 1998
My other car is up my nose.	Thanks, Jack, 3/30/1998.
It's time to pull over and change the air in your head.	Thanks, Andrea R., March 1998
YOU WILL TAKE MY CIGARETTE FROM ME WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD YELLOW FINGERS
It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
We have enough youth, how about a Fountain of Smart?
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Imagination Is More Important Than Knowledge -Einstein
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic
The difference between Genius and Stupidity is Genius has its limits	Parade Magazine, Sunday October 5, 1997
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
Reality is for people who lack imagination
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing
There's too much blood in my caffeine system
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!.
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Psychedelicize Suburbia
In search of the eternal buzz
I Do Whatever The Little Voices Tell Me To Do
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me	Thanks, "hmsullivan," who saw this in northern VA. 12/1997. Thanks also Laurie Ensley, December 1999.
I can't go to work today - the voices said "stay home and clean the guns"	Thanks, Michael O., 8/2000
Just say NO
Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder	Thanks, Kathy S., Dec. 1997
24 hours in a day - 24 beers in a case - Coincidence?	Thanks, Kathy S., Dec. 1997
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.	Thanks, Kathy S., Dec. 1997
Don't drink and drive.
Don't drink and drive. You might spill.
Don't Drive Under The Influence
Don't Drive Unless You're Sober Please
Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.
Friends don't let friends drive naked.

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