The sticker…	Comments…
Who is John Galt?	Talk about obscure. The answer is... the main character of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. Thanks, Michael O., 8/2000.
I fear no weevil	Thanks, Jody, January 2001, who saw this in Boulder, CO.
Your village called...They want their idiot back.	Thanks, Lisa, October 2000.
Time flies like the wind; fruit flies like bananas.	Thanks, "Cash12177," September 2000.
Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?	Thanks, Louis B., September 2000.
When it Rains Cats and Dogs, Don't Step in a Poodle	Thanks, Kerry O., Spetember 2000.
Places to go People to annoy	Thanks, Richard H., June 2000.
One sick puppy	Thanks, Richard H., June 2000.
Honk if you have Herpes	Thanks to "Zaphod" who saw this outside Myerstown, PA.
Who were the testers for Preparations A through G?	Washington Post's Best Bumperstickers of 1999. (Thanks to my own Pa for sending 'em in, February 2000!)
Constipated People Don't Give A Crap	Thanks, Hedrick and David O'D, January 2000.
Will Rogers never met you, did he?	Thanks, Dave O., January 2000.
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will see a man who can't get his pants off!	Thanks, Kathy S., November 1999.
I don't get mad, I get even.
I don't get mad, I get odder.	Thanks, Kathy S., November 1999.
What are you looking at dicknose?	Seen by "QcOnGrEsS7." Thanks, I think. November 1999.
SKINNY LITTLE BITCH	Thanks, Siani E., October 1999. From her helmet. She's a scooter rider!
Popularity is a socially transmitted disease	Thanks, Siani E., October 1999. From her helmet. She's a scooter rider!
F**k yeah, it hurt!	Thanks, Scott MacC., Sept 1999. His brother owns a tattoo shop in PA.
Jeffrey Dahmer says "tattoos taste great!"	Thanks, Scott MacC., Sept 1999. His brother owns a tattoo shop in PA.
Life's a Bitch	This trio from "mhoffperson," September 1999
Life's a Bitch and Then You Die
Life's a Bitch and Then You Marry One
Shin: A device for finding furiture in the dark.	Thanks, "Deano," September 1999.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I wanna be like Barbie. That bitch has everything!
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize	From George H., May 1999.
PEEL OFF BACKING AND ADHERE TO BUMPER	Thanks, Andrew G., who as far as I know is still chuckling about this. July 1999. He's from the UK, where bumperstickers are relatively rare, making a gem of this quality all the more interesting.
Decriminalize Canoeing in Kansas	Thanks, Martha B. P., July 1999. It seems to have something to do with permission and waterways in the state. Visit the Kansas Canoe Association. Thanks, "stephanie" (e-ddress, y'know) March '03 for the lead!
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
And whose cruel idea was it for the word Lisp to have a S in it?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Do I look like a freakin' people person?	Thanks, Melanie F., February 1999.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
No radio - Already stolen.	Ben R. sent this along, January 1999.
Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.	Thanks, Kathy S., December 1998.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?	Thanks, Melanie F., February 1999.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
A day without sunshine is like... NIGHT	Thanks, ZQ, for this variation. April 2000.
A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy.	Ben R. sent this along, January 1999.
Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?	Emailed by my friend Sue H., April 1998.
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.	Emailed by my friend Sue H., April 1998.
Eschew obfuscation.	Emailed by my friend Sue H., April 1998.
Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way!	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
IDTH=336>Half the people you know are below average.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.	Thanks, Kathy S., December 1998.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.	Emailed by my friend Sue H., April 1998.
I doubt, therefore I might be.	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
If walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the Hutt??	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.	Ben R. sent this along, January 1999.
If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now	From physics student Andrew K., March 1999.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?	From Tony, via Kathy S., July 1998.
Is there another word for synonym?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
So many stupid people... so few comets.	Ben R. sent this along, January 1999.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.	From Shirley M., November 1998.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live!!!!	From Shirley M., November 1998.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.	Ben R. sent this along, January 1999.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be removed?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?	From Shirley M., November 1998.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.	Cecilia sent this, February 1999.
You look like shit. Is that the style now?	Thanks, Kathy S., January 1999.
It takes a Viking to raze a village!	Thanks, Brandy T, February 1999.
Viva Smokey.	Seen outside of Boston, August 1998. Smokey Robinson? Smokey the Bear?
If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy	Lyle R. saw this one on a truck near Spartanburg, SC. As he puts it, "Just about sums it up, doesn't it?" Agreed. And thanks, Lyle. August 1998.
shove it	Saw this one on a truck near Boston. Simple and to the point. August 1998.
Some Fear	Thanks, Time A., July 1998. This is in response to those silly No Fear stickers, I guess.
It's easier to obtain forgiveness than permission.	Thanks, Dave N., August 1998.
Eschew Obfuscation.	Thanks, Dave N., August 1998.
The more you play, the more you learn.	‡ From the signature of an email, Kevin B., July 1998
My convictions are not for public display	How funny that this is a bumper sticker!
Death before inconvenience!	Thanks, Sue H., July 1998.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.	Thanks, Mark L., April 1998
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.	Thanks, Mark L., April 1998
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!	Thanks, Kathy S., Dec 1997
Fear No Art	Parade Magazine, Sunday October 5, 1997
Saw it… Wanted it… Had a fit… Got it!!	Parade Magazine, Sunday October 5, 1997
I'm Shy	(the font on this one is very small)Parade Magazine, Sunday October 5, 1997
F*** you, you f***ing f***.	A true classic.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Beam me up Scotty, there are no virgins left.	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
Beam me up Scotty, this planet sucks!	Emailed by my friend Swifti, June 1998.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
ENOUGH WITH THE BUMPER STICKERS ALREADY!
LICK MY CHIMP!
BUMPER STICKERS SUCK!
F.U.
THOSE AREN'T TWO PILLOWS!
MONKEY PANTS!
BUMPER STICKER!
I Believe Rush Limbaugh 2+2=5
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries
What is a "free gift" - Aren't all gifts free?
Shit Happens
I Make Shit Happen
Good Shit Happens
Fog happens	Seen out on Nantucket Island.
Compost Happens
Thank you, Jerry	Jerry Garcia, that is.
GARCIALATER	Another goodbye to Jerry Garcia.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot
Support Your Local Extra-Terrestrial
UFO's Are Real - The Air Force Doesn't Exist
Whatever
Winning [with red slash]
Why Be Normal
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?	Thanks, K. Slade. Dec 1997
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

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